im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize