I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
