We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
