so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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