im drinking this country out of the recession.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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