I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
last night I used snow as a chaser
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
