Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
40s are totally the cure
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
