My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize