make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
