i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
