I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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