So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
