Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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