And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
