i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
