PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You took a bar mat shot.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
