i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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