your room smells of hookers.
And success
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
