paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
