Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize