So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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