i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
