I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
