I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize