Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
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