I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So much Jack, so little girl.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
