I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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