Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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