Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
