I am in a vortex of obligation.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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