you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
