I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
