So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
