considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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