You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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