You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
