i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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