...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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