he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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