Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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