i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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