Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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