I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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