If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm both gender and math confused
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
