Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
