Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
