I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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