i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
