i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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