Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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