Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
