It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think pants incapable of making pants work
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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