Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
