I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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