Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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