How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
