I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
