the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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