Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize