He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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