"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Actions speak louder than pants.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
