school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
