:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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