Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it hurts more in the daytime
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
